Since our publishing of this post last Friday, Ted Haggard has been dismissed as pastor of New Life Church. The panel investigating the situation concluded that Mr. Haggard had indeed committed “sexual immorality”. The intent of our post is to encourage leaders in all walks of life to let this incident spur us to self reflection. We all need to take heed to how we are really living lest we, too, fall. — 11/6/2006 10:13am

By now you may have heard the news. Wednesday evening, Denver television station, KUSA, aired a segment in which Mike Jones, a former male prostitute, maintained that he and Ted Haggard, pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs and president of the National Association of Evangelicals, had a “sexual business” relationship for three years.

Haggard, on Wednesday, resigned as president of NAE, and submitted himself to spiritual counsel and to his board to conduct an investigation. Reached outside his home, Haggard told KUSA, "I’ve never had an affair with anybody. I am steady with my wife. I am faithful with my wife."

Response within the Christian community was swift in coming to Haggard’s defense.

This morning, however, acting senior pastor of New Life Church, Ross Parsley told KKTV 11 News of Colorado Springs that Ted Haggard had admitted to “some” of the indiscretions claimed by Mike Jones. The situation is under investigation by a panel of outside pastors to determine what must be done.

At this point no details have been communicated. For me it is terribly sad.

And I can’t even guess how all this will turn out, but it does make me think at a personal level about what this entire incident means. There will be plenty of piling on by many to score ideological or political points– but I think it is more important to let this situation serve as a loud warning to all of us in the business community. Over the years, I have had more than my share of disappointments as Christian leaders that I’ve known — pastors, ministry leaders, political leaders, educators, and business leaders have wrecked their lives and their families through “indiscretion” or “mistakes” or “poor choices.” These are anemic words to describe what was done. I know because I’ve even experienced this from members of my own family and know the shattering effect of these acts. But the point of my writing today is not to scold, accuse or express my disappointment, but to think through how this could have happened.

I speak frequently before corporate audiences on the topic of derailment in the life of leaders. Derailment is leader development jargon for the wheels falling off a career. What causes a successful leader to take an offramp from their career or to suddenly crash and burn? There are many professional and personal reasons for derailment. This current event illustrates three steps along one particularly destructive path.

One step toward derailment is the illusion of anonymity. All such acts are conceived and performed in secret, in the shadows, in the dark. Very rarely are they flaunted in the public glare. It has forever been so. But today, I see a growing ability for leaders to lead secret lives. And these secret lives are not just some virtual, on-line persona. The very mobility of business life enables this to physically happen. You can jet around the world to places where people don’t know you. You can actually lead a double life, far away from home or even just up the road. The age-old lesson to remember is that things never stay in the dark. Light eventually shines on the dark corners of our lives. Never ever let yourself think that you can live a secret life.

A second step is the lack of transparency in our accountability. Let me take this phrase apart. Leaders often become isolated, loners. They are the accountability for everyone else, but few leaders have people to whom they are accountable. Corporately, perhaps. Personally…probably not. The recent corporate scandals demonstrate that. But I’ve observed that while there is a now growing trend to be accountable to others, that there can be a lack of transparency in that accountability. Accountability doesn’t work if there is not a transparent honesty in the process.

All of us need people in our lives who will ask us the hard questions about how we are doing with our inner struggles, with our marriages, with our kids. I’ve been fortunate to have people in my life who will ask me point blank. And they know me well enough that I can’t dodge or deflect. Who do you have in your life like this?

A third step is an unguarded thought life. The Scriptures tells us that as “a man thinks so he is.” Our thoughts form our lives. I become what I think about. And yet we live in an age of unfiltered trash flowing into our minds from multiple channels of media, and for most of society, we line up in front of that flow willingly. A mentor once gave me one of the most compelling reasons for me to guard what I put into my mind and what I thought about when he said, “Dan, your kids will inherit the fruit of your thought life.” Let me ask, “What are your kids inheriting?”

Let me close with three thoughts:

First, we need to learn to live with what the Scriptures call the “fear of God.” This is the deep personal understanding and living conviction that we live our lives transparently before an audience of One. Others may not see, but God does see, even our thoughts. One of the things that we prayed for our kids as they were growing up was that they would always get caught. We didn’t want them to ever think that they could get away with something wrong. Looking back, the results of that prayer were frequently humorous, but I think that as my kids enter adulthood that a foundation of integrity before God has been laid. Remember that character is who you are when no one but God is looking.

Second, in your life, avoid even the appearance of evil. I know men that never close the door to their office when conferring with a female colleague or leave the window on the door completely open. Others will invite another colleague to travel with them rather than travel alone with a female colleague. And I know that it can get even more complicated than that today. The point is to do what you can to not put yourself in a compromising situation or one that has the appearances that can be misconstrued.

And a final thought, we must pray for our leaders, not for their success or influence, but that the inner foundation of spirit and character remain strong. And we all must pray for ourselves to live humbly and completely in the light.