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Research conducted by Jane Ebert and Daniel Gilbert of Harvard tested the idea that having lots of choices is a good thing and leads to happiness. The results of the test were just the opposite.

"Who was happiest with their choice?" asks Prof. Gilbert of Harvard University. "Those for whom the choice was irrevocable. When options are open, the mind generates debate. When options are closed, the mind generates satisfaction." (Wall Street Journal, 12/07/06)

As consumers we want, demand, in fact, more options and choices. We want it our way unless there’s a better way … or another way… And all the overload of choices delivers, really, is dissatisfaction and less happiness. The idea that there just might be an option (oh, dreaded thought) that is better but that we missed haunts us and erodes our contentment.

I’ve seen too many lives tied into knots through the discontent caused by the idea that there were better and more options. No purchasing decision seemed final. No thing they possessed is good enough. The car is not perfect. The house is not quite right. There’s a better gadget that I really want. It goes on and on.

Here are some simple things I’ve used to help counter this.

1. Build resistance to the desire to acquire. When my wife and I were first married we were like a lot of newlyweds, well, poor. But we never thought of ourselves that way nor did we agonize over what we didn’t have. We would sometimes go to the mall. With little to spend, we would still make a game of shopping. We’d find some exotic and expensive item that was being promoted. Then say to ourselves, “We don’t need that.” Then turning over the price tag, we’d calculate just how much we’d saved! And it helped us not be “owned” by these things.

   Make full use of what you have. Many years ago, I was taught this saying:

   “Use it up. Wear it out. Make it do. Do without.”

   Think about the extra cost to frequently replace perfectly good automobiles or appliances or equipment or …

2. Be genuinely thankful for what you have. James tells us that every good thing is a gift. (James 1:17) When I receive a gift, I don’t tell the giver that I want it in a different color with different bells and whistles. The gift is a representation of my relationship with the giver. How we regard what we possess is a window that looks into our relationship with God.
3. Be content with what you have. At least in our country, the choices are unending. And the potential for dissatisfaction is high. Learn to say, “I’m happy with what God has given me.”
4. Give God the chance to provide before you go and buy. I understand the need to pray for my daily bread, for God to provide me with the daily necessities. But much of American consumption is about things beyond the necessary. With many discretionary items, my wife and I would often have the sense that “that would be nice, but we really don’t need that.” Now we know that God doesn’t begrudge us having special gifts anymore than I would begrudge my little girl’s request for a special “treat.” Yet rather than plunging ahead and buying something just because we could (or forbid that we’d go into debt to purchase it) we would just put these desires before God. We would ask Him to provide it if that was something He’d be delighted to give us. Over the years we have been awed at what He has done. We have seen small things and large things like washing machines and cars be provided to us in astonishing ways.

   The result of this practice is that we walk through our home and as we see the things we now own, we are daily in awe and gratitude to God for His goodness and generosity to us. We don’t take any of it for granted. It makes His presence that much more real in our day to day lives. And what we receive from Him we greatly enjoy with Him.

   Don’t get me wrong. We don’t do it with everything. It’s not as if we have an ongoing “Santa’s List” that is the focus of our daily prayers. There are things we do just purchase. It seems clear that if we have to go buy the groceries that we buy the groceries. But what I’ve been writing about are not the necessities of life, not life and death needs. They are on a bonus page, so to speak, an appendix in the list of things we pray about. We’re not obsessively focused on these things. There are so many more important things to pray about and be concerned about that are really our focus.

   A side benefit of this has been that our kids have seen God answer prayer, not only for legitimate needs but also for the things that just fall in the special “treats” category. What a privilege to see them learn how God is intimately engaged with them in taking care of them as a loving heavenly Father.

Tomorrow, a fifth and final thought on battling discontentment.