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You can drive a screw with a nail file or pound nails with a rock. Sometimes that’s just the fast, reasonably efficient, solve you’re looking for. We wouldn’t recommend relying on that particular set of tools if your goal is adding a room to your house.
Say “I don’t get it,” instead of “That’s ridiculous,” or even “I disagree.” Who knows, once you get what your partner is saying, it may not be ridiculous at all and you may agree entirely.
Underline all the verbs and think about the actions they represent. Go. Stay. Wait. Seek. Speak. Watch. Tell. Teach. Walk. Run. Flee. Stand. Hold. Endure. Remember. With remarkable frequency, actions speak louder than…well, you know.
Openness is measured by degrees of appropriate, present-tense, self-disclosure. Most Christians can be fairly honest without being very open. Conversations about temptation and failure tend to remain safely in the past-tense.
Maybe it’s just over here where we live, but we’ve noticed a lot of power issues around religion and spirituality. A lot of folks feel overwhelmed by people who throw their weight around and, by all appearances, a lot of those people are happy enough to leave it that way.
Regardless of the number of people in the room, monologue (be it a motivational speech or a father lecturing the kids) works with a learning unit of one. That’s one person listening, considering, interpreting, deciding alone (even though she may be surrounded by a thousand other learning units).
If you’ve ever waited for someone who was waiting for you in another location with the same name (“I’ll meet you at Starbucks”), you know how people use the same words without meaning the same thing.
That said, you probably know several people whose lives aren’t working the way they wish; people who feel fragmented, torn by competing demands, afraid they’ll never become the people they always hoped they’d be.
Don’t worry about it. Some of our best friends are Presbyterians—they mean you no harm. The core content of this process is not theology, it’s the biblical text. Keep pointing your group to the text and let it speak.
Norman Cousins wrote, “Our own age is not likely to be distinguished in history for the large numbers of people interested in finding some time to think," and Glenn McMahan couldn't agree more. But wait: There are rumors in Brazil of deep discussions among businesspeople about thoughtful books. Could this become a trend? Please?
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